Shinobi Life
by iBloo
Summary: A collection of one shots that tell stories of what goes on in the daily lives of your favorite shinobis.
1. Apprentice I - Naruto and Sarada

**Characters: Naruto and Sarada**

 **Rating: K**

 **Genre: Humor**

 **Summary: Thirteen-year-old Sarada boldly asks Naruto to be his apprentice.**

* * *

Sarada walked absentmindedly around the village. She tuned out all of the background noise as she overanalyzed everything that has happened in the last fifteen minutes.

Her dark brows furrowed together, remembering that encounter with the Nanadaime, and thinking up more ways how it could have gone better. She just loved to overthink and stress herself over nothing. Sarada's cheeks flushed, and felt like she wanted to tear her hair out.

" _Hokage-sama!" She called out for the highest shinobi in Konoha. Her dark eyes full of her steely resolve. Naruto turned his clear blue eyes to her, giving her his fully attention._

" _My goal is to be the hokage," she proclaimed. "I will train my best to become the best, and be acknowledged by everyone to reach this goal." Her voice never wavered, however the hard part was coming up._

 _She bit her lip momentarily to stop it from quivering. "Please," she bowed low from the waist, "take me as your apprentice."_

 _Naruto did not flinch at the request. Sarada was his best friend's daughter, and his goddaughter. His gaze was soft. "Sarada," his voice came out even softer, wanting to lessen the blow as he tried to deny her request._

 _She knew that tone. She could not take no for an answer. "Please!" She begged again, biting down hard on her lower lip. She was desperately trying to fight back the tears. Sarada wasn't sure what was causing her heart to hurt more, her hero's rejection to accept her as his apprentice, or putting her Uchiha pride down by begging. "I know you're very busy, Hokage-sama. I promise, I will do everything I can not to add to that burden. Instead," She rose up from her bow. Sarada looked at him straight in the eye, "let me help you carry it."_

Recalling her own words, Sarada let out a shout of frustration. Was she too forward? Audacious? Presumptuous? How bold for a thirteen-year-old to offer to carry the weight of the village with the strongest shinobi in the continent! Her cheeks were flushing with embarrassment. She looked at her feet as she walked. Sarada was now out of the village's center. There were less houses now, as it lead to the Uchiha district.

She was spacing out, but instantly snapped out of it when she felt someone darting towards her from behind. In an instant, she pulled out her kunai with her right hand, and aimed to pierce through her attacker's jugular. This was instantly blocked. Using her momentum, she twisted and lifted her right leg to try to land a hit. This was blocked again.

"Tch," this guy was pretty good to block her slightly chakra enhanced kick.

She dropped her right hand to the ground to lift her weight, her left leg was glowing from the knee down to her foot with chakra as she decided to no longer hold back. Sarada needed to end this right now.

"Shannaro!"

Her left hand landed on the ground to steady her as she landed a clean hit with her left foot on her assailant's head.

"Aaaah!" Her attacker screamed in pain as he flew a good distance from her.

Sarada cartwheeled back on her feet, and a triumphant smirk on her face. She didn't even need to use her sharingan. However, her dark eyes widened in utter horror as she saw who she had kicked. She was able to take a good look before the clone disappeared in a puff of smoke.

There was only one person who dared to wear that much orange.

Back in the hokage office, Naruto doubled over on his seat as his clone's memories came back to him. He held on to his head, comical tears streaming down his face. "She really is Sakura-Chan and teme's daughter," he muttered. The swiftness and finesse she had shown in her taijutsu, sharply reminded him of Sasuke. While her precise timing and chakra release had _painfully_ reminded him of Sakura.

The door to his office opened. "How did it go? Was she excited?" Shikamaru approached Naruto's desk.

Naruto absentmindedly rubbed on his head. He could still feel the painful way his clone had gone. "Ah, well, I wasn't able to talk to her," he laughed nervously. "I guess I kind of scared her and she kicked my clone."

"How troublesome," Shikamaru smirked. "Did she use one of Sasuke's taijutsu techniques?"

"Yeah," Naruto agreed. "Topped off with Sakura-Chan's monstrous strength." He added, shuddering at the memory.

Shikamaru laughed. "Looks like you're going to have a handful."

Naruto nodded in agreement. "She's got Sasuke's talent, and Sakura-chan's ferocity."

Shikamaru regarded his words with a fond smile. That was definitely a lethal combination.

"But most importantly," Naruto added seriously. "She's got resolve, and cares for her comrades. That is what will make her a fine hokage."

* * *

The Uchiha couple walked down leisurely back to their house. Sakura held on to the crook of Sasuke's arm as they chatted lightly with each other. Sensing another presence ahead, their gaze moved away from each other to the path ahead. They spotted their daughter, lying in the middle of the road. Both parents dashed towards their daughter.

"Sarada!" Her mother quickly lifter her head, hand glowing with healing chakra, already scanning her for injuries.

Sasuke looked around, searching for the perpetrator. He was going to kill whoever did this to his precious daughter. There were faint traces of chakra that felt awfully familiar.

"She's unharmed," Sakura assured her husband. "She just fainted."

"Ho…Kage…Sama," Sarada mumbled.

Both of her parents looked at her questioningly. Hokage-sama? Naruto has something to do with this?

"Tried to... Kill... Hokage...Sama." She continued to mumble things in her sleep. She was dreaming about her killing Naruto, and worrying that he would no longer take her to be his apprentice after showing such rude behavior.

Her parents, however, took her words the other way. Did their daughter just say that the hokage tried to kill her? Sasuke quickly made a shadow clone, who scooped his daughter into his arms and brought her into their house.

His long hair covered his eyes as he stood up. Once he reached his full height and straightened his gaze, the sharingan activated.

His wife stood next to him, cracking her knuckles. A violent aura was being emanated from her entire being. "Na-ru-to."

"I'm going to kill that dobe," Sasuke's voice was lethally quiet.

Both Sasuke and Sakura's killing intent were flaring menacingly.

Half way across the village in the hokage tower, Naruto sneezed and shuddered.

"Naruto," Kurama drawled, waking from his nap. "Do you feel that?"

"Yeah, it feels like Sakura-chan and teme's killing intent," he shuddered again, pulling his hokage cloak to cover more of his body. He suddenly felt so vulnerable.

Kurama smirked. "They must be really pissed."

The hokage nodded in agreement. "I would hate to be the pitiful bastard their killing intent is directed at."

* * *

A/N: For those who previously followed this story, sorry but I scrapped the first one chapter! I wasn't happy with it, and I wanted to rewrite it. I'll probably put that in here some other time when I can polish it up.

This will be a compilation of one-shots, ranging from the Naruto to Boruto series.

I will be posting two more Apprentice stories, about Mitsuki and Boruto.

Please let me know what you thought by leaving me a review! :)


	2. Apprentice II - Sakura and Mitsuki

Characters: Sakura and Mitsuki

Rating: K+ for blood

Genre: Humor

Summary: Naruto tries to convince Sakura to take Genin Mitsuki as an apprentice.

* * *

"Sakura-chaaaan," the loud-mouthed hokage whined. "Pleaaaase!" It was unbecoming of the highest shinobi in the land to beg, but this was Sakura. Naruto always made an exception for her.

"I told you, Naruto," she snapped. "I have too many things on my plate right now. I can't take on an apprentice!"

Naruto held on to the edge of her white doctor's coat, and continued to follow her around like a lost puppy. "Come on, Sakura-chan!" He prodded further. "Taking on an apprentice is fun! Hell, if me and Sasuke can do it, I'm sure you can, too."

Sakura was weaving through the hospital's halls that were sprawling with nurses, doctors, and patients. Everyone was staring at them, nosily listening to their conversation. She lead him to her office, and closed the door behind her.

The medic closed her eyes and let out a sigh of relief. Sakura was glad to be away from everyone's prying. Besides, she was going to give Naruto a piece of her mind. If anyone heard the way she addressed him, (and maybe punch him) they would report her for insubordination. She finally opened her green eyes, and rested her gaze on his blue ones. Naruto was filled with determination to convince her.

"What is this really about, Naruto?" She asked, rubbing her temples. "I know you're not just pestering me to take on an apprentice because _it's fun_."

Naruto gulped. He was caught red handed.

He laughed nervously, and scratched the back of his head. "What are you talking about, Sakura-chan? I have no other reason! Besides, Mitsuki is really talented. Konohamaru told me that he was the only one in the team who expresses interest in becoming a medical-nin."

Sakura didn't believe him. She crossed her arms against her chest. She eyed him suspiciously. "And Orochimaru has nothing to do with this?"

He was sweating bullets now. "O-of course not! What would Orochimaru have to do with this?" Naruto was laughing maniacally, trying to hide his anxiety.

The medic knew him better than this. Besides, she observed that his heart rate was racing. After all this time, Naruto was still an idiot if he thought he could lie to her and get away with it.

She approached him, and smiled. "Na-ru-to," she sang in a deathly sweet voice.

The Hokage's eyes grew wide and he took a few steps back, attempting to put some space between them. He knew that tone. It was the tone she used before she got really _really_ violent. His back bumped into her desk, and he was cornered. Naruto closed his eyes momentarily. _Oh sweet Kami, please_. He had a wife, and kids waiting for him to come home.

He opened his eyes to see her green ones inclined and staring back, merely inches away. She grabbed his collar and pulled him down to her eye level. He was nearly a head taller than her, after all. "Talk," she demanded firmly.

* * *

Naruto left the hospital with a bump on his head. She had profusely refused his request after hearing the real reason why he was so insistent to take Mitsuki under his wing.

A devilish smile reached his lips. If Sakura thought this was the end of the discussion, she had another thing coming.

* * *

The next day, Sakura decided to leave the hospital early. She only had two more hours left in her shift, but Sasuke was coming back from his mission with ANBU to the village today. Sakura wanted to prepare something special for dinner. She slung her bag on to her shoulder, and made her way to the lobby.

"Is Sakura-san here?" A young boy asked the nurse at the front desk.

Sakura's ears perked up. She knew that voice. She turned right, and saw him talking to the nurse.

"Mitsuki," she greeted him with a warm smile.

He turned to face her, his usual smile on his pale face. "Sakura-san," he noticed that she was already holding on to her bag, and she was no longer wearing her doctor's coat. "Are you leaving already? Hokage-sama told me your shift wasn't going to end until five in the afternoon."

The smile from her face faded. "Naruto did, did he?"

"I can just come back tomorrow," Mitsuki said. He bowed low, "thank you for accepting me to be your apprentice, Sakura-san." His words and politeness shocked her. She never agreed to anything! She was going to kill Naruto for getting Mitsuki's hopes up.

He rose from the bow and smiled at her sheepishly. "Or should I call you shishou?"

Her heart skipped. _Shishou_. That definitely has a nice ring to it.

She opened her mouth to say something, but Izumo and Kotetsu came running in, carrying a severely injured ANBU member. A huge chunk of his side had been ripped open, and he was dripping blood everywhere.

Sakura dropped her bag and immediately approached them. She instantly switched back to medic mode. "Bring him here!" She led them through a corridor, and opened a door. In the rush of things, she failed to notice that Mitsuki has followed them.

They entered a room with an operating table. There were elevated seats at the far left of the table, made for medical students to watch an operation from afar. At the right was a counter with a sink, cabinets holding various medicines and salves, as well as operating tools.

The two chunin did as Sakura said, and placed the injured shinobi on the operating table. There were two other nurses who came in to the room, but by the looks of their uniforms, they were not medical ninja.

Sakura tore the gray vest and the thin black undershirt with her bare hands. Her hands were immediately glowing with healing chakra, making a quick scan. She noticed the two nurses who just watched, stunned.

"Don't just stand there!" She snapped. "Get my team in here!" The two nurses scurried away immediately. Izumo and Kotetsu followed suit. Sakura was scary when she was angry.

However, Mitsuki was unfazed. He even dared come closer to the operating table, and stood right next to Sakura. "That looks bad," he commented lightly. "Will he live?" He asked innocently.

Her green eyes snapped to him, surprised that he was still there. She thought that the gore would have scared him away. If not that, her temper would have. "Uh, Mitsuki," she started. How was she going to tell him to go away nicely? She had work to do.

Mitsuki was leaning close into the operating table, unfazed at all by the sight of blood and guts. He even had a slight smile on his face. "I think this is where the bleeding is coming from," he pointed at an organ with his index finger.

Sakura shrieke. Mitsuki's index finger was moving in on the said organ, and was about to poke at it! She hastily picked him up by the armpits, much like how she used to pick up Sarada when she was a toddler. She frantically looked around at where she could deposit him. Her eyes landed on the counter, next to the operating tools. She perched him there and instructed him to stay put.

"You can watch, just don't move from this spot," she told him calmly.

He gladly obliged and nodded obediently.

Contented, she turned her attention back to the bleeding ANBU and got to work. It was a lot more complicated than she initially thought. Sakura had half a mind to create a shadow clone to aid her with healing and regenerating the flesh. Damn it. Where was her team? They were taking forever!

She heard the man whimper, she felt his heart beat slowly receding. Her hands glowed brighter. She found that there were small pieces of broken shuriken embedded in his organs. "Where are my forceps?" She looked around the operating table, hands never leaving the man's body.

There was a hand that held it out for her. "Here."

Finally! Someone from her team had finally arrived. About time.

She took it quickly without looking, and channeled her chakra through it, simultaneously removing the pieces and healing the broken flesh.

After removing all of the broken metal pieces, she placed the forceps down, and placed her hand to heal the broken organ. Sakura expertly placed everything back in order and proceeded to close the wound.

"Salves," her voice was calm, but commanding.

"Here," a hand held out a green bottle.

She took it without looking back, and stated applying it on the now slightly closed up wound.

"Great." Feeling proud at her handiwork. "Bandages!" She called out.

Two hands held out two rolls of bandages, tape, and a gauze. Sakura was able to place it on the ANBU member with practiced ease. She placed a glowing hand on his forehead to relax him and make him sleep to make his recovery faster.

"Sakura-sama!" A group of four medical-ninja had rushed into the room, looking disheveled.

Sakura looked at the four of them. This was her whole team. If her team had arrived just now, then who had assisted her? Slowly, it dawned on her. She looked back at the counter behind her, only to see Mitsuki still perched on the counter top. A smile on his face.

"How did you..." She started.

"You told me not to move," Mitsuki answered her. Slowly, his arms extended and moved around, demonstrating how he had given her the tools she needed. "And I didn't. But you needed help…"

Sakura snapped out of her daze. "How did you know what tools to give me?" She asked. "And How did you know which salve to give me?"

"My parent has similar tools, so I am quite familiar. As for the salve," Mitsuki shrugged. "I read the label."

Sakura looked down, causing her pink hair to block her eyes. Her shoulders shook. The four medical-ninja in the room backed away, afraid she was going to have another one of her famous violent streaks. They closed their eyes, waiting for their superior's punishment.

What they heard baffled them. Sakura laughed heartily. The mirth was clear in her green eyes. It wasn't long before she was laughing even louder. The four medics and Mitsuki looked at her as if she had finally lost it. Those Uchihas' were known for being unstable, anyway.

 _He read the label!_ "I'm sorry," she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Mitsuki, you're a very practical shinobi, aren't you? A smart, and sensible one too."

Mitsuki smiled upon receiving a compliment from his shishou. "Thank you, but what was so funny?" He inquired lightly.

"Oh, I was just thinking," she started. "If either Naruto or Sasuke-kun were in your position back when we were genin, none of them would be able to differentiate forceps from a scalpel!"

The four medical-ninja sweat dropped, and sighed in relief.

Okay, maybe Sakura was exaggerating but Mitsuki stayed calm, listened carefully, and readily aided her. On top of that, he had obeyed the first instruction she had given him. He got extra points for knowing basic surgery tools, too.

Sakura's eyes met Mitsuki's. She gave him a small nod. Her decision has been made. Mitsuki was going to be the best medical-ninja, she was going to make damn sure. _Shannaro!_

* * *

A/N: I'm no medical student, I'm sorry, I tried!

This was supposed to be a very light hearted chapter, showing how awesome Mitsuki really is without even trying. While watching Boruto, I just loved how Sakura explained to Sarada that "Naruto is Naruto to me." It just emphasized to me how close they really were, and I wanted to show it in this fic. hehe.

I'm still trying to figure out how I can make a nice Sasuke and Boruto interaction, since it was already established how Boruto became Sasuke's apprentice. Leave me suggestions and ideas, please!

Let me know what you think? Please leave me a review!


	3. Apprentice III - Sasuke and Boruto

Characters: Sasuke and Boruto

Rating: T for language.

Genre: Humor

Summary: Boruto asks for Sasuke's advice, but he gets something else in return. Hint of BoruSara.

* * *

Naruto handed a scroll over to Sasuke. "Your next mission starts as soon as possible, and should last a little over a month," he explained briefly. The hokage leaned in closer as he waggled his eyebrows. "It's a super-duper S-rank."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "You look even more like a dobe when you do that, dobe."

Naruto laughed heartily. "Just trying to lift the mood!" After calming down, he spoke in a concerned voice, "say, teme, have you talked to Boruto? He hasn't been himself lately."

The Uchiha lifted a brow, urging the blond to explain further.

The blond scratched the back of his head and grinned sheepishly. "I have an inkling what's going on, but I don't think it's really appropriate if I intervene."

* * *

Sasuke walked across the dark training grounds. He let out a sigh as he recalled what his best friend had told him. The Uchiha never thought taking in a pupil would entail listening to life problems, and reforming an angsty young adult.

In the distance, he noticed a flash of yellow that shown in the moonlight. The Uchiha approached the figure slowly.

Boruto sat under a tree with his legs splayed out in front of him. He was staring hard at his hands on his lap, not even bothering to greet his teacher.

Sasuke sat down next to him. He was silent for a while, pondering what to say. However, his student interrupted his thoughts.

"Hey, sensei," Boruto's voice was merely a whisper. "How do you gain back someone's trust after you break it?"

Sasuke took a moment to digest the question. The floodgate of his wretched memories opened. Before his dark memories could whisk him away, Sasuke shook his head to clear it. He chose to focus on recalling his encounter with the hokage earlier that day. The memory of the dobe animatedly explaining the situation with voice imitations and matching actions, put a small smile on his lips. Naruto's hunch was right. For an idiot, he was perceptive—not that his Uchiha pride would ever let him admit that.

Sasuke closed his eyes slowly, and smirked. "You broke your promise."

Boruto gritted his teeth, "technically, I didn't." The venom in his own voice surprised him. Next time he spoke, he said the words slowly and quietly. "I-I was doing it for her own good. I was doing it to protect her," he explained.

After hearing his excuse, Sasuke slowly exhaled through his nose and opened his dark eyes. He lifted his gaze to the crescent moon. The Uchiha was familiar with this feeling—the feeling of self-loathing, and guilt.

"How?" Boruto's fist we're curled up in tight balls, a slight edge in his tone. " _How,_ sensei?" He prodded. "She hasn't spoken to me in two months." He sounded defeated, and very much hurt. "I did it to protect her," Boruto repeated his reason, hoping against hope that that would be enough for him to be forgiven.

Sasuke looked over at his apprentice and saw a solitary tear streak down his whiskered face. He smirked at the boy again. This made Boruto stare at his sensei in disbelief. Was that bastard enjoying his pain? _What a jerk._

Sensing those blue eyes on him, Sasuke finally spoke up. "You were too caught up with trying to keep Sarada's trust that you forgot to put your trust in her."

Boruto looked at him with wide eyes, as if Sasuke's raven locks suddenly turned bubblegum pink.

Sasuke regarded that look fondly. Boruto looked a lot like his father when he was confused. "If you had just told Sarada and explained to her properly, she wouldn't be so upset."

"She would have punched me into the next dimension," Boruto deadpanned. Sarada didn't have a rinnegan, but she sure did pack a punch. He couldn't believe what his sensei was saying.

Sasuke scoffed. "I know my daughter better than you."

Boruto gave him the stink eye, "says the person who's been gone half her life."

A vein in Sasuke's forehead was threatening to burst out of annoyance. He couldn't believe his pupil had the temerity to talk to him this way.

Boruto exhaled in frustration. "Just tell me what to do to get her to talk to me again, sensei!" He whined.

The corner of Sasuke's lips tugged up in a small smile. He looked at the moon again, it was getting quite high up in the sky. Boruto was looking at him expectantly, with his body slightly leaning closer to Sasuke, waiting for the answer.

The Uchiha beckoned his pupil to come a little closer with his right hand, and so Boruto obliged. Just as he was leaning in, Sasuke poked Boruto's forehead with his middle and index finger. "Maybe when I'm back from my mission."

The boy was dumbfounded. He watched his sensei stand up and leave. Boruto held on to the spot where his sensei had poked his forehead. Suddenly, he came to his senses and remembered he still didn't have an answer.

"HEY!" He flailed his arms around. "GET BACK HERE AND ANSWER MY QUESTION!" The blond was yelling expletives now, trying to get the Uchiha to turn around. No such luck. "Geez, you're no help at all!" He whined.

He kept on walking, and never looked back. A smirk grew on Sasuke's lips. His pupil would figure it out sooner or later. Afterall, the Uchiha knew full well his apprentice wasn't a complete idiot.

* * *

A/N: This was quite difficult for me to write, but I hope you enjoyed it.

What did you think of Sasuke and Boruto's interaction? Let me know by leaving me a review!


	4. Black Coffee

Title: Black Coffee

Summary: It's so dark, you'll want to commit murder

Characters: Sasuke Uchiha

Genre: Humor

Rating: T

Beta read by Bingbin. You're awesome. Thank you so much for your help!

 _This is dedicated to my favorite baristas. You guys are half the reason why I love to buy my morning usual_.

* * *

After a grueling eight-hour trek through the dark mountains, Sasuke was exhausted. He wanted a warm drink to soothe and energize him again—something stronger than black tea.

 _Coffee_.

He wanted coffee. _I would kill for some coffee right now_.

After a few more minutes, he noticed a small shop coming into view. As he came closer, his brows furrowed. It was strange for a popular chain coffee shop to be situated in the middle of a mountain road, right? Wrong. This was Ninbucks. It's _everywhere_.

The Uchiha braced himself. This coffee shop was always crowded, and the baristas were generally nice but sometimes their over enthusiasm with him ordering coffee made him feel uncomfortable. He thought about skipping past the store, but then… _coffee._ He stood in front of the shop for a long minute, contemplating if having social interaction was worth a steaming cup of the soothing dark liquid.

Since he was willing to commit murder for a cup just a few minutes ago, talking to a barista to get a cup should be a piece of cake, right?

He entered the coffee shop.

A lanky young man stood behind the counter. He was practically beaming rainbows and sunshine at Sasuke with his million-dollar smile. The moment Sasuke stepped into the coffee shop, the barista yelled out, "Good morning, welcome to Ninbucks!"

Sasuke tried to smile in an attempt to return the enthusiasm as he approached the counter, but it came out as a grimace. He looked constipated. However, this did not faze the barista one bit. He was still grinning, and anxiously awaiting his customer's order.

"Black coffee, no milk and sugar." This was what he always ordered.

"Oooh, the dark mysterious kind," the barista waggled his eyebrows.

Sasuke cringed. This guy was starting to remind him of a certain blond idiot. "Hn."

The barista laughed. "Can I get your name for the cup?"

"Sasuke."

The barista nodded and proceeded to write his name on the paper cup, "would you like to try our 'Black Ops' coffee? It's our special roast of black coffee with an extra oomph!" He was absolutely smug about this concoction. "And don't worry, I'll serve it with a splash of milk, just in case it's too dark for you."

The Uchiha smirked. _Was that a challenge?_ There was nothing Uchiha Sasuke couldn't handle. "Sounds good. I'll get that, but no milk."

The barista gaped at Sasuke for a moment, "sir, are you sure? Our Black Ops coffee is _so dark_ —it makes you want to commit mass murder."

Murder? That's something the Uchiha was familiar with, but not something he so eagerly wanted to do. "I can handle it." Sasuke waved his hand dismissively.

Sasuke paid and sat down on a small table at the corner of the coffee shop. Sighing in relief that his social interaction was over. He decided to read the newspaper while he waited. Surprisingly, he was enjoying this. The seat was comfortable, the shop wasn't as crowded, and the smell of roasting beans filled the air.

The barista called out his drink. "One Grande Black Ops Coffee—"

Sasuke rose from his seat, ready to approach the counter to pick up his drink.

"—For Sauce-gay."

He nearly ripped the newspaper in half.

"For Sauce-gay!" The barista repeated louder.

The other customers looked at the counter. The barista seemed to be reading the name written on the cup again. Before he could repeat the name, Sasuke darted to the counter and picked up the tray.

Sasuke could feel all eyes on him as he set his tray containing his coffee and a cup of whole milk down on his table. He snapped his gaze towards the other customers. Everyone immediately looked away.

He plopped down on the chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was one thing to butcher his name. But to repeat it over and _over_ again? He stopped his thoughts and took a deep breath in, and exhaled through his nose. He was hoping this cup of coffee was worth all the trouble.

"This better be worth it," Sasuke mumbled to himself. He looked down at the cup, the liquid was as black as hell. Tentatively, he closed his eyes and took a sip. The darkness and bitterness of the drink sent him reeling, eyes flying open as his darkest of memories came flooding in. He couldn't believe how potent a cup of coffee could be.

He put the cup down on the table to inspect it. It was like he was under a genjutsu. The liquid grew eyes and a small mouth, telling him, "let's kill all the Kages and take over the world."

He blinked a few times and took the cup of milk and poured it in the coffee until it was an earthy, brown color.

He took a sip, and it felt richer, whispering instead, "let's contemplate the dobe's murder."

Sasuke released a relaxed, and contented sigh. "Perfect."

* * *

A/N: I saw a funny meme on tumblr about the coffee being so dark, it'll make you want to commit murder. I immediately thought of Sasuke, and my own coffeeshop experiences. Hence, this story was born. Haha!

Let me know what you thought and leave me a review? :) Feel free to leave me a prompt that fits the slice of life genre for your favorite shinobi, too!


	5. Namaste

Title: Namaste

Prompt: Sakura convinces Sasuke to try Yoga. (AU where Sasuke has both his arms).

Genre: Humor / Romance

Rating: T

Beta read by: Sakura's Unicorn

* * *

"Sasuke-kun, please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

His eyes were closed, arms crossed in front of his chest as he looked away from her. "Just because you added _pretty_ doesn't mean I'll say yes."

A light blush stained Sakura's cheeks. "But I'm pretty and you say yes to me."

He cracked an eye open to peek at her expression and sighed at her pleading expression. He figured there was nothing wrong with trying a new activity.

"Fine," he said, relenting.

"Yes!" Sakura wrapped her arms around his middle and giggled with glee. "I promise you'll like yoga, Sasuke-kun."

It was Sasuke's turn to blush. He loved seeing her this happy. If attending one yoga class was going to keep her like this a little longer, then surely it wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

The receptionist in the yoga studio greeted the two. "Nice to see you again, Sakura-san! I see you brought someone with you."

She smiled and handed over her yoga pass. "I get one session free if I bring a friend, right?"

"Of course!" The girl beamed.

Sasuke huffed. No wonder she was so insistent on bringing him along.

"Is this your first time, sir?" the receptionist asked.

"Aa."

The lady smiled as she handed them their locker keys. "In that case, your session today is free, too."

Sakura thanked the receptionist and directed her boyfriend to the men's locker room. After he deposited his belongings, he removed his shoes and padded over to the studio. To his surprise, Sakura was already inside, sitting on a purple mat, chatting next to a blonde-haired girl. Sasuke grimaced.

"Sasuke-kun!" Ino cheerfully greeted him.

He inclined his head to acknowledge her before he sat to Sakura's left and crossed his legs. His dark eyes swept the entirety of the studio. Some of the participants were lying on their backs, while some where sitting with crossed legs. It was relatively quiet, too. One certain observation irked him the most: they were all girls.

Ino and Sakura stopped chatting and lay down on their backs. Sasuke preferred to stay in a seated position. He closed his eyes and decided to meditate for a while.

The instructor padded in. She was a tall, thin woman with a lean and toned body. Her posture was immaculate. She carried herself with such grace and poise.

"Oh, great! It's Hashi-san," Ino said quietly.

Sakura nodded at her best friend and whispered to her boyfriend, "She's a little strict, but she's a good instructor, Sasuke-kun. You're lucky to have her on your first try!"

"Hn."

Hashi-san greeted everyone in a calm voice, and asked if anyone had any injuries or pain, so that she could watch out for those. "I see some new faces," she said. "If anything ever gets too much for you, know that you can take a break anytime. Take _Child's Pose_ when you do. You don't need to feel pressured to follow with the rest of the class."

"If ever you get lost, just copy what I'm doing, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke smirked. There was no way he was going to fall behind the class, or need help. _How hard could this be?_

* * *

Thirty-minutes into the class and Sasuke was sweating like a pig and struggling to even out his breathing. He looked over to Sakura. Her form in _Downward-Facing Dog_ was perfect. Her arms and legs were straight, and her breathing was calm and even. She looked like she was so relaxed.

Sasuke could feel the blood rush to his head. The yoga instructor glided to his area. "Remember, when you're in _Svanasana,"_ the instructor said, gently pushing Sasuke's upper back down lower, _"_ you need to push the floor away and feel as if someone is pulling your hips all the way to the back of the room."

She held on to the sides of his hips and pulled them back. He clenched his jaw and held his breath. He could feel his arms and legs shaking.

"Don't forget to breathe," Hashi-san said calmly. "When the poses get hard, the more you need to breathe."

Sasuke was starting to hate this lady. He felt like she was directing all of her instructions to him. He released the breath he was holding to calm himself down. He bit back a curse when the yoga instructor corrected his shoulders when he was in the _Half-Fold_ pose.

 _How am I screwing up when all I need to do is touch my toes?_

"Shift your weight to your toes in _Uttanasana_ ," the instructor chided. "You should feel the stretch at the back of your legs. Don't strain your lower back. Keep your collar bone open."

* * *

After the session, he and Sakura left the yoga studio. Sasuke was still seething, upset with himself, thinking that he failed magnificently at that yoga class. His pride would not let him rest until he perfected every single pose they did that day.

"Ah, that was a good practice," Sakura sighed. "How did you find the class, Sasuke-kun?"

" _Hn."_ He considered sulking some more, but he couldn't help asking, "When is the next class?"

She blinked a few times and smiled. "Well, today is Monday. The next one I'm attending is on Thursday."

 _Three days_. Sasuke nodded. He had three days to improve before the next class. He committed to spend the next three days practicing. He bought two yoga books that day, memorized all the names of the poses, and practiced in the Uchiha compound's gardens.

* * *

Come Thursday, Sasuke remarkably improved. He even earned praise from Hashi-san for his form in _Warrior One_ and _Warrior Two_. She also didn't need to correct his _Downward Facing Dog_ this time around.

As the class came to close, the instructor said, "Lie down on your back, and let yourself sink into the floor. _Shavasana_. Take _Corpse Pose_. Take deep breaths, fill your lungs, and contract your throat. Continue your _Ujjayi_ breath."

Sasuke lay down on the mat and closed his eyes. He let all of his muscles relax and continued his deep breathing. Filling his lungs with air, contracting his throat, and hissing it out through his nose. He felt the corners of his lips tug up to a smile. It felt fitting that he ended this class with the _Victorious Breath_.

Before Sasuke could step out of the studio, Hashi called his attention.

"I want to applaud your hard work today, young man. You've improved a lot from the last class."

Sasuke smirked. His ego got a major boost.

"Would you mind if I had a word with you in our lounge?"

He raised his brow but followed nonetheless.

* * *

(Four months later)

"Forehead, what are you doing out here?" Ino approached her best friend, who was already wearing casual clothes, sitting on one of the couches at the yoga studio's reception area.

Sakura put her book down and sighed. "I'm waiting for Sasuke-kun."

The blonde's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "He isn't done changing yet?"

She rolled her eyes. "No. He's teaching a class."

"Teaching?" Ino screeched.

"Shh!" Sakura hushed her friend and grabbed her wrist. She pulled her to a nearby studio, pushing the door open slightly so the two of them could have a look.

Ino clamped her hand over her mouth to muffle her scream at the sight before her. She thought she may have died and entered yoga heaven.

Sasuke was at the front of the class, wearing nothing but Prana yoga shorts. He was demonstrating _Warrior Two_. His muscles rippled as he stretched his arms to his sides and bent his right knee, his hips dipping lower. His deep voice was calming, and yet it was sending heat to her cheeks.

"Tuck your belly in, and feel the stretch in your inner thighs. Squeeze your shoulder blades back, and pull at both ends."

Ino was drooling.

Sakura pulled her best friend away and shut the door. She was glaring at her, clearly not appreciating that not only were the thirty girls inside that studio enjoying the view of her beloved Sasuke-kun, but now her best friend was, too.

"Hot _damn_!" Ino was still in a daze. "Sign me up for his class, will ya?"

* * *

A/N: I don't know about you, but I get inspired to work harder if there's a hot yoga instructor around. Hihihi. Imagine if they were as hot as Sasuke? w

Please leave me a review, and let me know what you think of this story!


	6. Goal

Title: Goal

Genre: Humor / Friendship / Crack

Rating: K+

Co-authored with Sandsana.

* * *

It wasn't an uncommon occurrence to have Sarada's team in his home. With Mitsuki being Sakura's apprentice, Boruto being _his_ apprentice, and their home having direct access to the Uchiha training grounds, Sasuke was getting used to seeing more and more of his daughter's teammates.

The new Team 7 gathered around the dining table, loud whispers pointing accusingly at blond's sore spots, judging by the boy being flustered to the tips of his ears and shouting at Mitsuki, with Sarada barely holding in laughter.

"What's your problem with my goal anyway? I'm doing this for you too, you know?"

The teacher's curiosity got the better of him, his legs carrying him around the corner. But he was cut off by his wife.

"Darling, Sarada and I will buy some refreshments," Sakura said. "We won't take long."

Sasuke nodded.

His daughter excused herself from the table and joined her mother.

Now it was just the three boys left inside the house. The two chunin looked at each other and then at him. Sasuke decided to join them for a cup of tea. "What's all this talk about goals?"

"Goals?" Boruto asked. "We-we weren't talking about anything like _that_." His blue eyes shifted from side to side.

The Uchiha narrowed his dark eyes. He hated it whenever his pupil blatantly lied to him. So, he waited as he poured himself a cup of black tea.

After a few awkward seconds of silence, Mitsuki opened his mouth to say something, but Sasuke beat him to it.

"You're fifteen now," Sasuke started. "If you're going to tell me that your goal's still to beat Naruto, I suggest you start looking for a new one."

"Actually-" Mitsuki said, but got cut off by Boruto this time.

"It's nothing, okay?" He gave his teammate a pointed stare. "It's nothing big, or anything worth talking about."

Sasuke smirked. "If it's not worth talking about, then you need a new one."

Boruto ground his teeth together and glared at his teacher. "It's not for you to judge if it's worth it or not, ya know?"

The Uchiha took a sip of his tea and replied, "I need to know so I can teach you the correct techniques to reach your goal. Training is pointless unless you have a target in mind."

* * *

Boruto thought about what his sensei said for a while. Sasuke should be happy that he promised to protect his daughter, but then again, this was Sasuke Uchiha. This could go down in three ways.

One: he's happy and appreciates that someone is looking out for his daughter.

Two: he could think Boruto was insulting his daughter's capability to protect herself.

And three... That was a wild card, but Boruto knew how it ends: with his death.

"It's!" he was so nervous, he didn't realize he was shouting. "It's _nothing_ , ya know?" He laughed a little too loud. "Just Mitsuki being a tease and all that."

Mitsuki blinked a few times. "I don't understand, Boruto. You were so sure of yourself when you told Sarada you would-" he was cut off when Boruto hastily placed a hand over his mouth.

Sasuke put his tea down on the table, but still held on. He gave them a pointed stare. "You told Sarada you would _what_?"

Boruto gulped, but he was saved by the bell. Literally. As if on cue, the front door clicked open.

"We're back!" Sarada announced. She kicked her shoes off and padded straight to the dining room. "What were you guys talking about while I was gone?"

"What is Boruto's dream?" Sasuke asked his daughter. There was a commanding tone to his question.

"Dream?" she repeated. The question threw her off guard. She looked over at her two teammates and read the situation. "When I become the Hokage, Boruto wants to be what you are to Nanadaime-sama, Papa."

Mitsuki nodded, and smiled until his eyes closed. He looked all too pleased that that was finally out in the open. "Except I think they should be married. They would make a good couple," he turned to face his teammate's father, "don't you think, Sasuke-san?"

The tea cup in Sasuke's hand shattered into a thousand pieces.

Sarada turned bright red and slapped her palm to her forehead. "We really need to work on filtering your words, Mitsuki."

It's amazing how Boruto was still sitting in his seat and not dead right now. Although his posture was straight, he was slightly shaking, and looked ready to bolt at any moment.

Sakura came into the dining room. "Good, everyone's here. I brought cake!" She held up the box and placed it on the table. She felt her husband's chakra pulsing in disarray. "Darling, what's wrong? Why is your sharingan activated?"

* * *

A/N: This is what happens when Nastya and I talk about Boruto dying by the hands of Papasuke. With Boruto being a giant tsundere.

How're you guys? Good, I hope. :) I have a bunch of fics lined up for beta-reading. Hopefully I can get back into the groove of updating my one-shot collections back to once a week! In the meantime, I hope you take the time to leave me a review. I love hearing from you, ya know?

Have a marvelous weekend!

~ Kairi


	7. TMI

Title: TMI

Prompt: "Please put your penis away."

Genre: Humor

Rating: T

* * *

"Hold still, Boruto," Mitsuki said calmly as he dug around his medic bag.

"HOW CAN I?" he screamed. "A SNAKE BIT ME ON MY–"

"Shut up!" Sarada shouted. Her back was facing her two teammates, face a bright shade of cherry red. "I don't need to hear it!"

Konohamaru laughed as he watched his comrades. It looked like a scene right out of a comedic show. Boruto was flailing around without any pants on, as Mitsuki tried his best as the medic on the team to calm his patient down so he could have a closer look. Sarada was so flustered, she was practically shaking.

"I never want to see it again," she whimpered.

Mitsuki smirked. "I don't see what the big deal is. You've seen it before, Sarada."

She turned around and stomped on the ground. "We were five! That doesn't count!" Before she knew it, she was looking at Boruto again and his…

" _Eep!"_ She turned around and sat on the ground, still very much red and blushing.

"HEY!" Boruto felt indignant. "What's with that reaction? I'll have you know that I'm a _magnificent male specimen_." He ran his hand through his hair, pink sparkles surrounding his face. "Right, Mitsuki?" He looked at his teammate for back up.

Mitsuki smiled so wide that his eyes closed. He walked over to Sarada to check on her wounds next. "Right. You're definitely not the smallest in our group of friends. Maybe second or third smallest, only."

"WHAT?" Boruto was fuming. "HOW WOULD YOU EVEN KNOW?"

Konohamaru was dying of laughter. He was on the floor, tears on his face, and holding on to his stomach. Perhaps being teamed up with teenagers wasn't so bad afterall.

Mitsuki crouched down next to Sarada, inspecting the wound on her arm. "During the Annual Shinobi Physical Examination last month, I was assisting Shishou. I just so happened to be present when most of our batchmates were being examined." He cleaned the wound with an antiseptic before wrapping a bandage around it.

Sarada was thankful she decided not to proceed with the medicalnin path. She didn't think she could take seeing all of her male friends as bare as they day they were born. She looked at Mitsuki and gave him a smile of thanks, which he returned. A shadow was cast over their faces.

Sarada looked to the side, and came face to face with Boruto's junk. He was standing tall, and proud. Feet wide apart and hands on his hips. A wide, and devilish grin was on his face.

"Take a good look and tell me that _this_ isn't the _biggest_ you've ever seen," he told his two teammates.

Sarada took in a shaky breath and covered her eyes with her hands as she muttered, "please put your penis away."

Mitsuki smiled and said, "sorry Boruto, but I see the biggest everyday in the mirror when I dress."

* * *

A/N: This fic is where my smut dodging career started. However, the fic that really riled everyone up is "Lemonade." It will be up in my BoruSara collection: Say It Again. Hop on over there if you want to read it!

I hope you all had a few laughs from this little story of mine. :)


End file.
